Well done, internet.
This one’s a true story: We were playing Apples to Apples on Thanksgiving. The basic premise is that a person puts a topic card down (like Fat or Happy or Sad or Tricky) and you have to play one of your cards that matches the theme. So if the topic is Fat you can play Candy or Babe Ruth or Bowling Ball and the judge gets to choose the card that best fits the theme and that person gets a point.
Well, the topic was Touchy Feely and without batting an eye I play…wait for it…Helen Keller. I know, right? Well everyone quietly gathered up the pieces to the game and threw them in the garbage because everyone realized how perfect is was and how no one would ever do anything as clever again.
No, what really happened was I made such a big deal about how clever it was that the point was awarded to someone else so I wouldn’t win the game. But that’s not the point. The point is that no one should ever play Apples to Apples again because the stars will never align so brilliantly again.
My 5 year old came home from school today with an “I Voted!” sticker on so we asked him who he voted for. He said, “We didn’t vote for President. We voted for our favorite ice cream flavor between chocolate and vanilla. Vanilla won, but it was really close.”
I’m dying. I can’t stop laughing.
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
I know everyone hates Drudge for distorting the news with his ridiculous headlines, but as a sports fan, this takes the cake. ”Sanchez Struggles Before Tebow Takes Over.” Was this written by Skip Bayless? And why aren’t their exclamation points in the headline? Surely that would have helped.
Their stat lines:
Sanchez: 9/11, 59 yards, 1 Int. One big mistake obviously with the pick six.
Tebow: 5/14, 69 yards, 0 Int. In addition, he was sacked 4 times for 33 yards. I thought this guy could scramble. Isn’t that his only discernible talent?
Way to take over, Tebow. If it wasn’t for you, the Jets would have lost by 50 instead of 23.
The top comment to this video is: “This is what happens when bullying stops.” I haven’t laughed so hard in ages.